Every year I plan this amazing and extravagant birthday party in my head for myself. And every year it doesn’t turn out that way. I don’t know why it has taken me years ((26 to be exact)) to appreciate the small things that actually tend to happen on my birthday.
Maybe it’s part of my insatiable need to be accepted or my flawed view of what my life is supposed to be like. As I write this post I’m accepting how much I do tend to compare myself with others. I want what I perceive to be their blessings to be my blessings. I am never truly satisfied with the outcome of the things I plan or the way I feel things should be. In all honesty, it’s a pretty horrible thing to live with- to never be 100% satisfied? I mean, c’mon. If there is one thing I despise the most is when people around me compare me with other people- so why do I do it to myself? I want to make this birthday a turning point in my character. But, before I make a list of the things I promise myself not to be because those things really hinder my true character, I’ll tell you what happened on my birthday.
I took the day off so that means I slept in and if you know me you know how valuable a good sleeping-in is to me. Woke up to some grilled cheese sandwich and a milk shake from my mom which I enjoyed with my sisters, mom and grandma. Headed to the gym because being fit has no days off in my calendar- except Sundays as my little sister pointed out. Was invited out for lunch so I got ready and went and enjoyed some spicy shrimp and chicken at the Elephant Bar with a very special friend of mine. As an added bonus, she asked me if I still needed some running shoes and if I did, that was her gift to me. Off to the shoe store! Got a text from my mom saying to be home because she was having a little cake and a BBQ for me. Splendid surprise! Had some aunts and uncles come over, spent some quality time with my cousins and sisters and nieces. Had my MTBF come through and then extra delighted to have P share a little bit of my day with those dearest to me.
.:Laughter. Joy. Happiness:.
Instead of getting that overly priced birthday party I got what my mom said to be “algo varatito, pero con mucho cariño.” Instead of having to split my time with multitudes of people I got to share group conversations that brought knee slapping laughter to everyone. Instead of having the possibility of strangers being a part of my special day I had the most important people in my life whom I know will be with me through it all.
What To Be:
- Not so whiny
- More bad ass
- less serious about jokes at my expense
- a bit mysterious
- accepting of what is
- appreciative of MY life
- … more to come