My first Re-Blog post.
Taking compliments used to be somewhat difficult for me. Growing up with the constant reminder that I was fat I wasn’t prone to hearing nice things being said to me about me. I began to tell myself, in silence, that I was beautiful and I came to believe it until someone came along and told me the opposite. I then began this loud and annoying thing where I was just vocal about my fake self-confidence; it was all just a façade to hide the real insecurities.
Any time I did receive a compliment I responded in the typical way the article points out. No eye contact, cocking of the head, blushing, self-deprecated, and knee-jerked a compliment right back. Thank you was not the first response or was not a response at all sometimes.
Oddly enough I love giving compliments to others. I find it necessary to give them, I guess because I didn’t really get them. My compliments are genuine, but I like giving them because what if that’s the one thing that makes them smile that day or it reinforces their morning choice to wear that new top, to put on that particular tie, or whatever I vibe off a person that is deserving of a compliment from me. My compliments are allotted appropriately and I really mean them. If someone giving me a smile makes me smile in return I will say, “Thank you for that nice/beautiful smile”. No biggy. If that girl/woman has a nice purse, hey, why not tell her I like it? I tend to brush off their responses however because some people haven’t learned to receive compliments, much like I used to be.
I have this friend who’s not afraid/shy/appreciative when getting complimented, but sometimes, to me, he’s a bit too comfortable. How comfortable? Enough to not say Thank you but reply with an I know. I take that type of attitude as cocky and unflattering in a person’s character. Being an influence in my life and how comfortable I feel with him I gave him my logic on compliments- how to give and receive them, which is quite similar to the article’s take and he understood it. However, he pointed right back at me and pointed out how I suck at receiving them. He “checked me” so to speak and I decided I didn’t want to be that person anymore because like he said, it makes the giver of the compliment feel a little bit awkward. It’s so easy to point fingers and not look at the other side of the coin. However, pointing at each other was a good thing for both of us in this case. We learned and taught each other something about ourselves. He’s now better at saying Thank you and leaving it at that and so am I.
Being someone who doesn’t like perpetuating stereotypes I’m glad that I’m no longer part of this one.
- What I’ve Learned About Compliments (eyehavealotoffeelings.wordpress.com)