Love Is A Constant Theme

As of late many of the blogs I follow have been about love. Whether it’s the search for it, living in it, forgetting it, or just appreciating it.

The one that gets me the most is finding it, keeping it, and it loving you back.

I have the love of family, a few friends, but not the love of the one. The love that I want the most, the love I want to feel is elusive, absent, stubborn.

I am in love. I am deep in love. I hate Love for not loving me back. I want Love to engulf me- to treat me the same way- to reciprocate.

My definition is not so different than the universal one. But sometimes I guess my expectations are too high. All I ask of Love is to put itself in the center of me just the same way I have put it at the heart of my being.

I eat at its feet. I breathe its air. And I swim in its water. Am I hopeless? Am I blind to its cruelty?

People say that I’ll find it once I stop searching; once I stop thinking about it. But that’s how I got where I am now. Before I knew it I was already making Love my priority. I was already making Love my only thought- I was deep in a sweet, twisted fantasy. Correction: I AM deep in a sweet, twisted fantasy.

I want Love to say I love you back. Because I’ve said it twice already. Maybe I want Love just to say it doesn’t love me and possibly that will make me walk away. But I am a sucker for the ifs in life.

Love, I hate loving you with so much ardor, with so much tenacity, with so much vigor.

Love, I love that I love you.

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