I used to take a lot of pictures of myself. Now, not so much. I’m confused as to why. Perhaps I’m not happy so subconsciously I’m not projecting love (yes, I believe selfies are a form of loving yourself). Or do I feel happy and I’m just not advertising it (yes, I believe selfies can be a way of ignoring some internal conflict). You see the dilemma?
Many times throughout my day and cumulatively my life I feel happy, content, joyful, beautiful, and smart. Other times I feel stressed, uneasy, ugly. However, I’ve always fluctuated this way and still managed to fill my phone with selfies. Much like Beyonce, I always seemed to be feeling myself. As many pictures as I took I wouldn’t post them or share them- they were for me; for my self preservation. Then later when I would feel down or not particularly pretty I would look through them and smile because I felt my happy-meter rise.
What’s going on? That’s what I’ve been asking my inner-self lately. But she doesn’t know.
I just finished sorting through my phone to possibly share a selfie in which i feel and look pretty recently (the last six months). There was none. Yes, there are selfies in there but none that I have been able to see and say, yes… I was feeling beautiful, smart, and strong here.
Yea… I haven’t been feeling particularly happy. But at the same time it may not be unhappiness, but just… free. I’m not surrounded by constant societal pressures or the need to please/impress through my social media. So then why haven’t I been taking pictures of myself as often? I don’t know, man.