I Have All These Plans

… But I’m too afraid to take any action.

For the longest time I have been wanting to start a podcast and this is the idea/plan that has been a constant for years. I’ve presented this idea to many and they always ask the same question: what is it going to be about? and what will you call it?

Bih, I don’t know… everything and anything (con Mona) … hmmm… that’s an idea.

I listen to many podcasts but lately I’ve picked up some new ones within the Latinx community. My people are so fucken funny and filled with so much love, passion, and creativity that sometimes – deep down in my gut and in the labyrinth of my self-doubt – I feel that this is what hold me back. What if I am unwelcomed? What if I fail? I know, I KNOW that none of that should matter if it’s what I really want to do.

I came across this gem on my soundcloud profile and maybe this is what my podcast will sound like. If you have some time to listen feel free … Hanging with the BF and MTBF

You know what else I’m afraid of? Asking someone to by my co-host. I live away from family and friends and I’m fully aware about how technology can bring us together, but will whomever I ask be willing to take on co-hosting responsibilities if he/she accepts? I’ve asked the BF but he’s a little shy- very vocal and opinionated in person, but not so much in public and open spaces; which I understand. And I only want one other person, and you know what? It doesn’t even have to be the same one for every episode. I just want them to be consistent. I have a plan, though; for when I do ask. I want to be prepared as much as I possibly can by having a little FAQ and a sample outline. The BF is now out of the running as co-host but I’d like to (and eventually will) ask my MTBF and my baby sis, Lorena. OMG… I wrote that out! Now I have to do it.

What will it be about?

I want the podcast to be about my culture, my family, my friends and experiences. I want it to be about current political and social events that shape our communities and persons. I want it to be about traditions, religion (my lack thereof) and everything in between and around. I want it to be a relaxed open space and eventually I want to have guests- family members, friends, and in the future other podcasters. And like always with a bit of #Spanglish.

How will I brand myself?

That is what I am most unsure of. I don’t have a creative … anything really. I do, however… support latinx artists. I wish I had a separate bank account for all the art that is out there. Alas! I don’t but I am slowly filling up my wall with amazing art and have made a commitment to buy at least one piece of Latinx art a month. Why? Because I want the youth and my people to prosper. I want to be a small part in their success to achieving their goals and dreams. That is what I believe is going to make the entrepreneurship landscape more colorful. But that is not here nor there on my branding. Here is what I love: coffee and tea and right now I am in the coffee stage of my cyclical love for both. So, I started a new IG page that focuses on just that: my love for coffee and tea. And within that page I want to showcase the support I have given to artists so far. And with that… I’m thinking it’ll increase the number of my followers and expose artists to how their work is inspiring little ol’ me. Here is my IG page if you want to follow: monaquieracafe

My other plans:

Buy a camera. My DSLR got stolen during a break-in I had several years ago. I’ve hesitated buying a new one and in reality didn’t see much need for it. But now, I want to be able to grow what I plan on doing with my podcast with good photography and video. I don’t want anything too expensive and I already have one in mind.

I want to take a digital photography class or at least find a good YouTube channel for beginners. The last photography class I took was in my sophomore year of college and it was with film! I never developed any of my photos; they were all reviewed through slide readers.

I’ve also started working with graphic design through some android apps for my monaquierecafe page. I’m still on the free versions of the apps since I’m just getting started. But if I take a class or find some good tutorials I can get better in no-time (said no one ever)! I have some ready-to-go content because I want to be consistent in my posting frequency. I know I’ve un-followed, for whatever reason, accounts that don’t post as often so I want to stay ready. I have to do some research as to why we do that (read: I).

If you have any ideas or advice on anything I’ve written about, help an amiga out.


The Rise and Fall of Facebook in my Life

Whether we want to or not, we all have an opinion on social media. Here is mine.

I have conversations regarding SM quite often with my boyfriend. We share similar thoughts, but not always. We talk about how it’s evolved, its purpose, who’s abusing it, and how irritating it can be.

I had myspace when it was “cool” to have one (and I think my profile is still active I just can’t remember the email and password) and eventually got Facebook during the time when you had to have an .edu e-mail. Myspace waned off and now it’s all about FB. And Instagram. And Twitter. And Snapchat. I’m on all but FB. In all honesty it was very hard to process the fact that I was not going to de-activate my account like I had in the past, but actually deleting it.

Will I be able to abstain from logging in during those two weeks they expect me to? All those posts and photos will be gone! (we all know they’re somewhere else in cyber space). My FRIENDS! *insert crying emoji*

I survived. I’ve been FB clean for 3 months and I do not regret it. It was really starting to weigh me down. I was beginning to get irritated with people I had no actual contact with. I was judging too harshly, and getting annoyed too easily at things that in no way affected me. That’s a reflection on me, people. Not the posters. In the beginning I was posting constantly and eventually ever-so-often. But others? They just kept on, and on, and on.

The BF got rid of his FB for similar reasons a while ago, but I always argue that he’s hypocritical about it. You see, he said he liked FB because he can keep in touch with family. But then he began getting annoyed at said family and would tell me how basic they were. He’d say that he’d like to reply to their posts saying x,y,z but he never would! All this anger and annoyance would just build inside him. He liked FB also because it was a great way to follow unconventional forms of news outlets but would get upset at how no one else he knew did. Well, did you share? (he didn’t). BF would also say he’d like to post about certain topics but knew people wouldn’t engage him so he never did. OK, are you seeing a pattern here with the BF? You’re doing SM wrong! I’ve always claimed he was just a lurker, seeking to be angry with someone or something.

For me it was fun. It was a way to share silly moments with friends and family and engage in surveys and just be me but on a platform. Then FB started changing (much to everyone’s chagrin). We can share links, videos, and photos in a different way, we can repost content, and we can see more activity from everyone else. Now we can see who said what to whom, who liked what, who is playing what game and wants us to play along, and those damned ads! We lost first  hand online communication (does that make sense?). THE END OF AN ERA!

I didn’t mind all those changes at first. But then my brain had an overload. It was too much. I cleaned out my friends list, unliked pages, unsubscribed to RSS feeds… relief! Time passed and my opinions started to change. My outlook on life and what was distressing me became center focus. Who do I want in my life? Why do I have certain people on my TL? Why did I accept their friend request only to have them muted? Hmm.. unfriend. I don’t care if I knew you five years ago- I don’t know  you now. I don’t care that you are my cousin and this feeling of obligation to be your online friend needs to be gone. Delete. Delete.

Now that I don’t have a FB I feel so much lighter. I don’t have the constant and incessant need to refresh the screen. My eyes don’t hurt from all the eye rolling at pretentious posts (that’s how I felt about them, OK?). I don’t have to subconsciously try and solve people’s problems and piece together drama that DOES NOT CONCERN ME!  And guess what, I have more to talk about with people I see. I don’t know what they’ve been up to, so I ask. And that’s one of the things the BF and I agree on. There is more genuine storytelling and sharing of life events. By the way, this reminds me… watch Aziz Ansari’s latest special (it’s on Netflix).